Operation: CAROLING
by ZePuKa
Summary: Numbuh Four forgot to get Numbuh Three a Christmas present and he's running out of time to find the perfect gift! So he embarks on a solo mission to do just that, despite many obstacles. And what the heck is a goat doing in this story? (Rated T for one minor suggestive line made by a parent, all other content Kp) [December 2012 Second Edition with some minor corrections & changes]
1. The Beginning Chapter

Operation: CAROLING

**C**aroling

**A**gent

**R**igorously

**O**vercomes

**L**argely

**I**nsidious

**N**octurnal

**G**oat

**Disclaimer**: _I do not own kids next door, the ingenious Tom Warburton does!_

* * *

"Guess what, guys?" Numbuh Three asked merrily as she skipped into the main room of the tree house where all the other numbuhs were chilling.

"What?" Numbuhs One, Two, Four, and Five answered gloomily. You see, there hadn't been a mission in weeks and they had already done every fun thing they could think of, but were now so bored their brains were threatening to melt. (All except Numbuh Four's, that is… his melted LONG ago…)

"Only one more week 'til Christmas, YAY!" Numbuh Three exclaimed, jumped up and down at the prospect.

"Really?" Numbuh One asked, "Normally, the adults would be causing all kinds of trouble this close to the holidays!"

Numbuh Two jumped up and exclaimed, "Oh! I completely forgot! I have to wrap my gifts to people yet!" and with that ran off to his room.

"Numbuh Five can't wait." she stated in her usual third person tense as she stretched out to claim Numbuh Two's now empty side of the couch.

"I'm gonna check with the Kids Next Door Global Command unit, the adults must be up to something!" Numbuh One shouted as he ran off to do just that.

"Relax, Numbuh One, the GCU prolly don't have any new mission specs you ain't seen yet. The adults are just too busy with Christmas themselves to cause any trouble!" Numbuh Five shouted after him. ("Then I'll just go straight to the adult news sources to read of their plots!" was Numbuh One's muffled reply)

Numbuh Four was just staring into deep space, thinking (which, I might add, is phenomenal in and of itself.) about how he was going to get gifts for everyone in just one week. He didn't even have any money saved up to buy gifts with. "Cruuuud" he muttered to himself when he realized this dilemma.

"Has anyone seen Gottee?" Numbuh Two inquired, popping his head back into the common room.

"What, that hamster freak you mutated?" Numbuh Four asked.

"Yeah, I mean no! he's not mutated! He's genetically uh, enhanced? er, altered...? and I can't find him anywhere!"

"Good, 'cause Numbuh Five was getting tired of that freak animal tryin' to eat everything in its path!" Numbuh Five stated as she got up to go to her room. (A faint "like someone else 'round here…" was heard as she departed.)

"You don't like him?" Numbuh Two asked dejectedly. Numbuh Five had just closed her door and hadn't heard him so he just sighed and plodded back to his bedroom/laboratory.

"Sooooooo, what did you get me for Christmas?" Numbuh Three asked excitedly as she plopped onto the chair's armrest, right next to Numbuh Four.

"Erm…" Numbuh Four laughed nervously, keenly aware that they were now alone in the common room, "Not supposed to tell".

"Ohhhh...", Numbuh Three replied, somewhat disappointed. Only a split second later she seemed to be over it and had started to jump all around Numbuh Four's chair. "Christmas, YAY! Christmas, YAY!" she shouted while poor Numbuh Four looked for a way to escape without bumping into the bouyant Christmas enthusiast.

"I'm, uh, gonna go an' try to find Gottee, K? Numbuh Four said as he tried to get her to slow down long enough to make his escape.

"Okay!" Numbuh Three squealed as she giggled and frolicked all the more.

Resigning himself to having to take the brute force course of action like he usually did (just not when he was around Numbuh Three, for fear he might hurt her) he just did his best to time the exit and rushed forward away from the chair, only to wind up on the ground a moment later, his timing being an obvious failure. He quickly got up, afraid he might have accidentally tackled and harmed Numbuh Three in the process, but he was surprised to find the floor bare. He whirled around and found himself face to face with a slit-eyed Numbuh Three, who had taken on a ninja-esque pose... Wait, he KNEW that pose... the pose she took after she flipped her prey. The sudden encounter hadn't phased the Asian with surprisingly quick self defense reflexes too much, and the awkward moment was broken by her returning to her Christmas chant and chair revolution ritual.

Numbuh Four flushed pink as he turned and headed out of the common room, both embarrassed that he had just been physically bested by a girl, and surging with admiration for his crush. That was his Kuki...

* * *

"Think, Numbuh Four, think!" he mumbled to himself as he made his way down the stairs while cries of "Christmas, YAY!" slowly died away. "What am I going to do?" he thought, (Which I may remind you is rare…) "Maybe mum an' dad would lend me some money… Yes, I think they would!" and with that, he ran off to his trailer near the railroad tracks.

* * *

"Why sure, son!" Mr. Beatles said, "We can't have that nice little girlfriend of yours disappointed on CHRISTMAS, now can we?".

"She's NOT my girlfriend!" Numbuh Four protested.

Ignoring his son's denial, he handed his son some cash and said, "Have fun now! But not TOO much fun, Wallaby!"

"Ugh... Thanks, Dad!" Wally replied, disgruntled, as he ran towards the shopping center.


	2. The Next Chapter

"Dun-nuh-nah-neh-neh, gonna buy some presents!", Numbuh Four sang as he entered the mall. He quickly bought a CD for Numbuh Five, a toy plane for Numbuh Two, and a pair of glasses with the fake nose and mustache for Numbuh One. ("Numbuh One will love this disguise! No one will recognize him!" he had reasoned at the time, but we all know how faulty Four's logic can be.)

"Now, what will I buy for Kuki?" he thought, "She already has every rainbow monkey ever made on the face of planet earth to date! And I don't have a rocket to go to any galactic outlets." Wally contemplated this for awhile, but the perfect gift never came to mind.

He started walking down the hall to head home when he saw a store associate putting out a new window display. The clerk was arranging a green rainbow monkey with a picture of a cluster of leaves and berries on its tummy and placing a sign in front that said 'NEW TODAY!'. "I'll bet Numbuh Three doesn't have that one yet, it says 'New Today'! She'll love it!" he exclaimed and ran into the store to buy it.

He grabbed the monkey from the unsuspecting clerk setting up the display and went up to the checkout to buy it. He waited awhile, cleared his throat, waited awhile, cleared his throat, waited awhile… "AHEM!" (some customers were starting to stare, wondering if this child had to cough up a hairball or something….)

"Oh! I'm sorry, dearie, I didn't see you there! How can I help you?" the lady at the counter implored. Numbuh Four stood on tiptoe so the lady could see him over the counter and placed the rainbow monkey in front of her.

"Oh! Look at this! How cute, a present for your little girlfriend?" the lady asked in a sugar coated condescending tone.

"She's NOT my girlfriend!" he shouted as his cheeks started turning shades of pink. (Several heads had turned in his direction, snickering. This only added a few more shades of pink.)

"Whatever you say, dear, she'll love it!" the lady added as she calculated his total. Wally just fumed silently, not wanting to draw any more attention to himself. "And your total is," the saleslady announced, "Five dollars and eighty cents". Numbuh Four fished around in his pockets but could only produce $5.75.

"Uh…" he stammered, "I…". (Truth be told, he hadn't yet realized that he didn't have enough, he was just flustered that he couldn't remember how to count money, and he was embarrassed enough as it was with all the attention he was getting from the customers who thought he was 'cute'. How he detested that word... He was Numbuh Four! He was macho! He was tough! He was... too manly to count coins, he would just get the cashier to do it.)

Wally plopped all the money he had left onto the counter and waited as the cashier counted it out.

"Oh my, you're shy one nickel, guess you won't be needing this!" she said with a sweet smile and started to put the green monkey on the back shelf.

"Wait!", Numbuh Four called. He may be dumb, but he knew he wouldn't have time to run home and get more money before those monkeys sold out, "I'll get the money, just give me ten minutes!"

"Well…" the lady replied, "Store policy...". She stopped when she saw the looks of the customers that had taken interest in watching the little boy's drama, and some of them were starting to look cross. "I guess I can hold it... but no more than five minutes! We'll be closing then".

"Okay!" Numbuh Four exclaimed as he ran out of the store with the uncharacteristically bright idea to find the nearest fountain and get a nickel there. He reached the fountain just as a security officer was leaving with a wet bag full of coins. "Hey wait!" Numbuh Four called, "I need a nickel!". The man turned and answered as he patted Wally on the head, "Sorry little mister, but these have to go to charity to children less fortunate than you".

"What!" Wally shouted. The man pointed to a sign on the fountain and left. Wally turned and read:

ALL DONATIONS THIS WEEK WILL BE GIVEN TO ST. PAUL'S CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL

Numbuh Four groaned and kicked the fountain as he muttered, "Cruddy hospital with its cruddy donations!". He stopped kicking when he heard familiar voices singing carols. "It's the delightful dorks!" he thought. Sure enough, when he rounded the corner, he saw the DCFDTL in festive attire singing carols. As people walked by, they would toss a coin or a gift into a large box that the DCFDTL had set up.

"Thank You" they chorused in unison as a large chocolate Santa was added to their greedy stash. Suddenly, a rare and phenomenal thing happened, Numbuh Four had a brilliant idea! The second in one night to boot! "I'll sing for money!" he thought, "And then I can get Kuki's Rainbow Monkey!" So he took a cardboard box from outside a store, placed it in front of him and started singing:

Angels, we have herds up high! Sweetly uh, SOMETHING! SOMETHING! Panes! And duh fountains in the pie! Let go- erm, LEGGO MY EGGO! Glor-or-or-or-or-ee-ah! In egg shelssies day oh! GLOR-

"Hey!" he exclaimed when some guards grabbed him, "LEMME GO!"

"Sorry, son, but we've had complaints that you're disturbing the peace!" one guard replied as he took his fingers out of his ears so he could aid the other guard in dragging the boy with the irritating singing voice.

"Disturbing the peace!" Numbuh Four yelled, "I was serenading them with a lovely Christmas carol! I think I even know one that's all ABOUT peace! You guys just can't recognize talent when you see it!"

"Oh, you're talented kid, never before now did I realize that serenading can be a form of torture! Such mutation is pure talent!" the guard said.

Numbuh Four hung his head, thinking about all his failures that had taken place. All he had wanted to do was buy the perfect present for Numbuh Three. Sighing, he looked at his watch. He only had one minute and forty-eight seconds!

"Uh, guys? I really have to go, I promise I won't sing anymore." He said, hoping the guards would let him go so that he wouldn't have to resort to brute force yet again.

"Sorry, but we have to take you to the mall's security office for an official report, captain's orders." They replied.

"Okay, then…" Numbuh Four took a deep breath, then proceeded to deck the halls' security guards until he could get away.


	3. The Chapter After (Or Last Chapter)

Numbuh Four was running so fast, he just about plowed some poor creature over in his attempt to get back to the store. "Sorry!" He exclaimed, and was about to run on when he spied that coins had been spilled all over the ground from the coat he collided with. Wally quickly knelt down, ("here, lemme help you with those") and discretely slipped a nickel into his pocket. Not bothering to help the stranger further, Wally rushed off towards the store.

* * *

"NO!" Numbuh Four screamed as he came to the front of the store just as the lady was locking up.

"Oh, sorrie, dearie, but… TIMES UP!" the lady said cheerfully.

"But…" Numbuh Four protested, with a devastated look as he gazed up at the shop window at the rainbow monkey still sitting on the counter's back wall. He was still staring when the lady chirped "Oh well!" and left.

Numbuh Four started banging his head against the glass wall of the display case as he said "This…Is…Not…Happening…!" (replace …s with a head bang, each one harder than the first.) With a final bang, he thrust his head back against the window in his despair, and to his surprise, it gave way as a million shards of glass splintered everywhere. For a minute, he just froze in shock thinking his mum wasn't kidding when she lectured him on how 'hard headed' he was. Once over the initial shock, he looked around the vacant closed mall, but no one was in sight, not even the security guards (Perhaps he had decked them a little TOO hard...). Carefully avoiding shards of glass, he entered the store and headed towards the counter.

"There" he said as he put the final nickel on the counter, "Five dollars and eighty cents!". He took the rainbow monkey and left the store with it. "Well, that wasn't so hard." Wally said to himself as he started home. A little later, Wally started to sing carols again, feeling practically giddy at his success.

"Deck the halls with bows of holly, (fake guitar sounds replace the falalala). 'Tis the see son to be jolly (fake guitar) don, we bow, hour day a pear el, (fake guitar). Troll the agent, you'll soon tire, (fake guitar) Deck the hal-"

Wally stopped and spun around when he heard something in the bushes behind him. Relaxing after a few seconds, he continued on, convinced it was just the murmur of the wind. A shadow then slipped past after his back turned, sending a shiver up his spine.

"Who's there?" Wally demanded as he spun around once more. Again, all was quiet. He put his hands in his pockets, hoping to find a weapon of some sort. He pulled out a nickel. "WHAT?" he exclaimed, forgetting about the shadow for a second, "I had this all along?"

Suddenly, a dark shape of significant size literally head-butted his behind, knocking the nickel out of Wally's hand, along with his bag of purchases. Wally was sent flying into the bushes, nearly having the wind knocked out of him. Quickly regaining his footing and preparing for a counter-attack, Wally called out, "Alright, you!"

He turned, then stopped short, for standing before him was a giant goat that had a strange resemblance to that of a hamster. This creature then stood on its hind legs, taking on the stature of a human, and adjusted its coat. No, not his fur coat, an actual coat. A coated goat with a hamster resemblance and buff enough hamstrings to stand on its hind legs. Numbuh Four didn't notice any of these strange qualities, as he was only staring into the eyes of the glaring beast, challenging him to fight.

Wally stood his ground, focusing on his opponent, oblivious to any of his surroundings. If this thing wanted a piece of him, or his Rainbow Monkey gift for Kuki, well he wasn't going to get it without a fight!

The goat lowered his horns and charged straight at Numbuh Four for another head-butt. Wally ducked out of the way at the very last possible moment, and grabbed the mutated creature's hoof from behind, causing it to lose footing and fall to the ground. Wally didn't stick around to see if the goat freak was planning another attack, he just made a mad dash toward his purchases, eyes on the rainbow monkey in particular, hoping to grab it and keep it out of the goat's reach.

He finally made it to the spot, snatched up his purchases and ran towards the nearest house (Which unfortunately was his own, and a little too far away, it seemed). The goat was steadily gaining ground. Hoping to scare it, Numbuh Four tossed his purchases behind a nearby bush and made an about-face and ran straight at the goat, leaping over it before contact.

This succeeded in only making the creature furious, which, I might remind you, isn't a good thing to do to a goat-hamster mutant. Seeing something shiny on the ground as he was running, Wally picked it up, hoping it was something sharp. It turned out to be that same nickel.

"Oh, crud!" he said, as he slowed his pace in proportion with his dampened hopes, then realizing his mistake, ran off again, this time only inches from the goat. Numbuh Four tossed the nickel at the goat's face, hoping it would hit his eye and render him blind... or something... he was desperate ok? Give him a break.

The coin missed, but it caught the goat's attention. Turning, it bent down, picked up the coin in his mouth, and put it into the pocket of his coat. Giving a stunned Numbuh Four one last glare, he snorted in a huff, turned, and trotted off.

Numbuh Four just stared after the goat, wondering what had driven him off. "Oh, Yeah!" Wally exclaimed, "He was the strange guy I bumped into at the mall and stole the nickel from!" feeling relieved that he hadn't become mutant rodent goat meat, Numbuh Four grabbed his bag of presents and, striking up a tune, went home.

* * *

"Merry Christmas!" Numbuh Three squealed as she ran into the common room. She excitedly danced around the room nearly knocking the Christmas tree over when she finally leaped down beside it. "PRESENTS!" she yelled before she quickly started to open them. The others followed suit, "ooh"-ing and "ahh"-ing at their presents, thanking the people who gave them.

Numbuh One received a new red shirt (from Numbuh Five), an automatic Lizzie alarm, (compliments of Numbuh Two), a (HUGE) pair of Rainbow Monkey underwear (Numbuh Three giggled when Numbuh One said, "umm, thanks…Numbuh Three…), and the glasses with a fake nose and mustache (to which Numbuh One face-palmed when Numbuh Four suggested that he use them as a disguise on his next mission).

Numbuh Two received a book of diagrams of modern fighter planes (Numbuh One, hoping Numbuh Two could fashion 2X4 technology after them), a Rainbow Monkey "Wright Brothers Collectible Rainbow Monkey" set (can you guess who from?), the toy plane from Numbuh Four, and a gift certificate to a 2X4 outlet (AKA Home Depot) (from Numbuh Five, always the practical one).

Numbuh Five received CDs from Numbuhs One, Four, and Three (The latter being a Rainbow Monkey Sing-A-Long CD of course), and a set of cool headphones that doubled as a walkie-talkie so that he could always get her attention (How sweet of Numbuh Two).

Numbuh Four got boxing gloves (from Numbuh One, since Numbuh Four had totaled his prior pair last week, and will need a new pair next week, most likely), a flotation ring (With promises from Numbuh Five that she'd teach him how to swim if it killed him), a mini-fighting robot (Numbuh Two), and a giant blow-up Rainbow Monkey from Numbuh Three so that he could use it as a flotation device or, God forbid, a punching bag!

Numbuh Three got Rainbow Monkey PJs from Numbuh Five, a subscription to Rainbow Monkey Weekly Magazine from Numbuh One, a rainbow monkey pilot cap from Numbuh Two, and finally…

"Oh! This one's from you, Wally!" Numbuh Three exclaimed as she tore off the wrapping paper of a badly wrapped box. Numbuh Four got a little pink when she referred to him by his real name, for she had referred to all the others by their Numbuhs, and they were all smirking at him, knowingly. Numbuh Three shrieked as she pulled out the monkey, "THE limited edition Rainbow Monkey Mistletoe Kisses rainbow monkey!? Thank you, Wally!"

"Erm, you're welcome…" he said, he hadn't known it was a -mistletoe- monkey, and frankly, he was afraid what the others might say about that. He didn't have time to make up an excuse before Numbuh Three held the rainbow monkey over his head then kissed him lightly on the cheek, causing him to stammer unintelligibly and turn six shades of pink. Numbuhs One, Two, and Five all laughed before suggesting they all go and have some breakfast.

* * *

"Hey, look at this, guys!" Numbuh One said, pointing to an article in the paper he was reading over a bowl of cereal. The others glanced over his shoulder at this article:

LOCAL CAROLER WANTED

Local caroler wanted for disturbing the peace, assaulting two mall security officers, destruction of private property, and breaking into the Rainbow Monkey Happy Holiday store and absconding with a "Limited Edition Rainbow Monkey Mistletoe Kisses" Rainbow Monkey. The perpetrator was last seen wearing white sneaks, jeans, and an orange hoodie. Please call 1-800-U-WANTED to report any sightings. Remember, this caroler is unarmed and musically challenged, we urge the public to be cautious.

"Numbuh Four?" they all asked in unison after reading the article.

"Uh…" Numbuh Four stammered, blushing almost as much as he had when Numbuh Three thanked him for his gift.

Just then, a hamster-like goat in a coat stampeded into the kitchen.

"Gottee!" Numbuh Two exclaimed, "You're back!"

Wally just groaned, slumped down in his chair, and sighed, "How do I get myself into these cruddy messes?"

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed it!


End file.
